drown in the voices
by sayopiyo
Summary: it all started when my family breaks up...strange things happen to me... and it takes a new turn after i had been seriously attracted to him. BXE RXR FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.
1. it all started

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sayo: this is my first twilight fanfic... i have not written fanfics for 2 years so trying to set myself into that mood. please tell me what you think of my stories by reviewing it. thanks so much for those who support my GA fics. i'll update if i can find time on it but i'll concentrate on twilight fics for now.**

**full summery: **well bella's family starts breaking apart when she reaches 5, soon after she began to experience strange event, such as hearing peoples thoughts and nightmares that come true... it starts to take a new turn when she is seriously attracted to people with the most fearful thoughts... and that is the _vampires_.

**disclaimers: i do not own twilight, but i do hope i can own some of the characters :D

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**---5 year old Bella P.O.V---

The door slammed shut. Nothing more could be done now, I stood there, rooted to the ground, watching my whole family slowly tearing apart piece by piece. Tears flowing from my red puffy eyes towards the ground, glittering like diamonds on the floor.

What had started as a happy family was now torn apart mercilessly as both parties started to let jealousy, money problems get to them.

The crushing sounds of wine glasses followed soon after the shattering of an expensive antique vase that my dad, Charlie hold dear. I crouched even further to my corner, holding my cuddly bear close to my heart, this was one of the few presents that both mom and dad gave me. I shut my eyes tightly, willing my mind to stop taking in the sounds of my parents' arguing. Again. I knew what the neighbors would say, another family argument. I could not remember exactly when these arguments first started, but I always know how they invariably ended. Mummy would send the bedroom door banging as she retreated in anger to sole refuge. Daddy would come by and give her a hug before leaving the house for the next few days.

I started to reflect on their first argument. It had started as soon after mummy came back from work. She look worn, far from her usual radiant and beautiful self. The first thing she did was to pull me into her arms and hug me tightly. I remembered wriggly about to show mummy my discomfort. But nothing I did registered in mummy's mind. Suddenly I felt a strange dampness on the collar of my dress and struggled free to look at mummy's face. Her make up had streaked all over her face, obviously mined by her tears. At the moment, daddy had walked in and talked to her. She kept shaking her head and refusing to listen, making daddy so frustrated that he stormed out of the house.

From then on, increasingly, mummy would smash things around the house whenever they argued while daddy would seethe in impotent fury.

I was awakened from my thoughts when the loud sound of a door being opened. I opened my eyes and looked up timidly at my parents. I saw anger palpable in their stances- daddy's hands were clenching into fist tightly, mummy was holding on to a suitcase luggage muttering some words the I could not comprehend. " Let's give each other a way out: divorce."

mummy threw the house keys in the table and said coldly, " About the child, I'll let you take care of her." The coldness sliced right through my heart- Realization dawned on me. Mummy did not care about me at all. Saying that, mummy slammed the door shut.

Daddy gave me a hug to soothe my crying, " Bella darling, don't be sad. Daddy will always be here for you" He said gently to pacify me.

I just closed my eyes and did not want to think about anything anymore. Thats when it happened... I started hearing a " POP" sound in my mind and soon, soft mumblings.

_Why did it have to end up like this? Bella is still so young... how could she do this... and with Phil..._

Whose voice was that? It sounded like daddy's, I looked up to see that he was still hugging me tightly, and had not spoken a word...

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sayo: people out there read and review to give me suggestions or pointers for my stories please , i deeply appreciate it thanks soo much :D**


	2. dream and strange happenings

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sayo: chapter 2 is up, although its abit short, i do hope people will read and review. but i'm kinda sad since there are only 11 people reading my first chapter :( but at least 2 reviewed i guess...thanks **Mina's Lunar Rainbow** and **Edward Cullen's Heart **for your kind review

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I woke up in the middle of the first night that my mother left, I could feel that my eyes were sore from crying. It hurts, both my eyes and my heart, I really missed her, _my mother_. Seeing that it was still night and it wouldn't be a few more hours till school starts I began slipping into my dreamland.

" _Daddy? Mummy?" I called as I walk through the darkness that seems to lead to nowhere._

_When I finally caught up to my mother, she simply just vanished away and reappearing just like my father. I was afraid and scared, I just kept on running and running through the darkness to catch up to either one of them. Finally I caught up to daddy... giving in everything I got I jump and wrapped my arms around his leg._

_Everything started to become clearer, the darkness was slowly fading away...revealing what was hiding behind it. I could see the background... it was daddy's workplace... I could see sadness in daddy's best friend, billy's eyes. He was in his wheelchair, clearing up daddy's table, looking at a photo that was unclear to me. Before I could move closer to sneak a peek... I heard someone calling me..._

"Bella darling, wake up or you will be late for school" I heard daddy saying that to me, as I slowly slipped out of my dreamland. I rubbed my eyes to refresh myself for the start of a new day- without my mother there for me. I did my daily routines and my dad drove me to school as usual. I could hear lots of mumbling while we are on our way there, its really noisy and annoying at the same time. Daddy seems to have noticed my annoying expression that was on my facial, while I was concentrating on the source of the noise.

"Bella, is anything wrong?" he asked. Startled I took a quick glance at him and he seems to have a worried word plastered on his face.

"Daddy? Can you switched off the radio? its really getting noisy" I said as I scrutinize his face closely, watching if the worries he had for me had subsidies. It seems that it had an opposite effect instead. As I watched his face filled with shocked and more worries.

"Bella? The radio isn't even switch on. Are you sure your alright? Should I get you a day off your school?" he asked cautiously, this time he examine my face properly to see if I was alright. I was shocked, can't anyone hear **it**? I could hear things like _I wonder if I could pass my test _as we passes by a school girl and I'm_ so happy that my dearest son is finally returning home _while we passed by an old lady. I quickly recovered from my shocked, I can't keep adding worries for him... especially since mom left... he must be more hurt then anyone else at the moment. I guess.

"Sure dad, I'm fine" I told him while giving him my best smile, he look suspiciously for a second and turned around to continue his driving. _I'm glad that she's fine _I could hear it. Again. I looked up to see dad concentrating on the road and had not spoken a word. Is something wrong with me? Am I crazy? The worst thing is am I a monster? Lost in my mind that is filled with nothing but questions, I didn't noticed that we had arrived.

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sayo: please read and review to give me your opinion of the story, it would help me deeply if u could give me a few pointers of how the story is, feel free to review and asked questions, i wont bite ;D thanks those who read and reviewed it once again. see you in the next chapter.

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	3. uncovering the unknowns

**sayo: thanks to the 29 peoples that read my story and **-CAUTION-dazzler **that reviewed. anyway i hope i could atleast get the hits up to 100 though, but it cant be help if my story isnt interesting, guess i'll just have to accept that fact. anyway sorry for the 1-3 chapter of introduction i guess... the curtain will start raising at chapter 4 onwards. so look forward to it :) keep in mind that this is only bella's past the present will start in... chapter 4 i think. once again if i have any grammar mistake etc. or you wish to give me some pointers or comments please do help me by reviewing. it will really encourage me alot. without further ado, let the story begin...

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**I walked into the school waving goodbye to my dad. Trying to ignore all the voices that had filled my head. I saw my best friend, Cassy sitting under the tree, quietly reading. Her long black silky hair flow swiftly as the wind starts to blowing, she pushes her hair behind her ear and seems to have noticed me walking towards her at the corner of her eyes, she raised her head up staring at me with her baby blue eyes before breaking into a warm smile. _Bella is finally here... but she looks annoyed..?_ a voice seems to spoke in my mind. Trying to put that voice aside, I sat beside Cassy and turn to my bag pack. Taking my favorite classic out and started to read.

The bell rang, and school started. I walked into the class with Cassy by my side. As we sat down in our respective places. Lesson finishes quicker then I expected as I didn't really paid any attention, not that I _don't _want to, but I _can't_, not when my mind is filled with a hall of conversation.

I make my way to the cafeteria with Cassy as we sat down and ate our food. I could hear the voice of Cassy in my mind among the hall of conversation.

_I wonder if I should ask her if anything happen... she seems to spaced out in the class a lot._

"Cassy I'm not spacing out, its just too hard to concentrate on the lesson" I replied nonchalantly.

_How did she know what I'm thinking?_

"I don't you just spoken it yourself" I said once again. I'm starting to get the hang of her voice, I could only hear Cassy's, although we are in the cafeteria the is filled with lots of people.

"Bella? I hadn't really spoken a word since we entered this cafeteria" Cassy said as she started to fidget uncomfortably.

"and how do you read my thoughts?" Cassy asked uncomfortably as she stare into my eyes nervously waiting for my answers.

"I..." I said as I started to stumble upon my words. Thinking of how to phrase everything, and what does she meant when I read her mind? _This is starting to creep me out..._ I heard it again.

"am I really creeping you out?" I glare at her.

"yes... but" _oh my god this is so cool its so fascinating, how I wish I can read people's mind too. Though maybe thats because I wanted to be a psychologist when I grew up. _

"Cassy, this isn't really cool you know... but I guess its sort of fun if you put it that way... but its also very annoying and noisy at the same time" I replied surprise that she did not think of me as a freak or monster. But I guess this was to be expected with her character.

"But Cassy are you sure that you do not think of me as a freak or something for being able to read people's mind? Or even be afraid of me?" I asked, fear starts to overwhelm me as I waited for her answer be it in her mind or from her mouth. I didn't want to lose this friends, I already lost my mother not her too... we had been together ever since we were babies.

"Bella why am I afraid of you? And no, you shouldn't even think yourself as a _freak_" she look at me seriously. _Why did she even doubt me? It sort of hurts me when she thinks that way..._ I could hear her thoughts once again. I frowned when I heard her mind.

"Bella I know it you heard my thoughts again didn't you? Cheer up, you can trust me_, _your secret is save with me" I smile a little when I heard that.

"by the way, you haven't answered my question" _how did you get your power?_ Cassy said as her thoughts entered my mind.

"I... seriously have no idea... it just happened and before I knew it... lots of noise or should i say voices had filled my mind... I think I need a lot of concentration to focus into one person, like what I'm doing to you now" I replied. At least I think thats how it works. Cassy seems to look at me suspiciously for a second, to see if I was lying I guess. But she looked like she accepted my answer though.

"I know! Why don't I help you with your power after school? At least its better then uncovering the unknowns all by yourself" she said excitedly jumping up and down. Well I can't _burst _her bubble could I? and I guess I _could_ go along with it seeing how excited she is.

"sure" I smiled at her. She looked pretty pleased though.

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I dropped dead on my bed. Cassy tried to experiment me with all sort of stuff. Such as focusing at one of our classmates, Judy to see what her deepest secret was. And of course she too called me to focus on her to see if I could receive any image in my head from her when she thought of it. At least this was one of the suggestion that I think allow me to know my power better. Anyway I tried not to think of anything regarding my power _and_ Cassy's experiment. Cassy was usually a quiet and studious girl just like me, we top our class in almost all subject- though i guess some people might think we are nerds. Anyway putting that fact aside, the way she is acting now brightens my life. I thought as I remembered everything that happened, unconsciously slipping into my dreamland.

_Its the same dream... the dream that is filled with nothing but darkness, seemingly leads to nowhere. But this time I wasn't chasing my mom anymore I was just chasing daddy and Cassy. I run as hard as I can, fighting back all the tears that seems to welled up in my eyes. The both of them just keep disappearing and reappearing. I ran with all I got, I could feel the weight of my legs that is slowly tying me to the ground. I ran harder despite my exhaustion. I finally grab Cassy's hand and just like my last dream, the darkness seems to slowly fade away._

_It started to reveal a scene in a house, I could see a women with long silky black hair but empty black eyes. She was holding a photo closed to her heart as tears starts to dropped, glittering to the ground. I went forward trying to ask her what had happen just as I was closing in, she turned around staring right into my eyes with anger in hers. Then she shouted " GO AWAY". I stood rooted to the ground, not having the courage to move forward or running away..._

I woke up, my heart pounding loudly, and with beads of sweat the trail down my faced. I guess I was letting too much stress to get to me to be having nightmares in consecutive days. I washed my faced and did my daily routines, before daddy even wake up. I guess I was starting to mature and be independent now. However, something about the nightmares seems to bugged me somewhere deep down my heart...

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sayo: reviews guys :X i know i'm being greedy, but cant a little girl like me get encouragement from my readers? anyway hope you enjoy this chapter... see you in this next chapter i guess**


	4. a series of unfortunate events

**sayo: thanks once again to **-CAUTION-dazzler, TopazTearz **and** BikerBrat **for reviewing, i've been busy preparing for CNY and unlucky as i am, have caught a flu. i tried to update as fast as i am but my eyes really hurts. anyway i've enable Anonymous Reviews!! so people out there no need accounts to update :) anyway the cullens will come into the story, in chapter 5 or 6 i think. and i can guess that you people out there could pretty much guess how the story goes lol. anyway thx to the extra 9 people that start reading my story... once again do review and give your opinion.

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**_10 years later..._

_---_ 15 year old Bella P.O.V---

My childhood passed by in a flash of an eye with good times and bad times. My ability to hear people's though and to be able to picture it in my mind when they think, sometimes seems like a curse though at many times I do appreciate it. If only I hadn't form the bad habit of replying to peoples thought but voice instead, maybe I wouldn't be treat like a freak and is being distance away. But sometimes it helps when people with bad motive tried to approach you and when teachers wanted to give surprise test.

Despite the fact, I still have people which I care and love and that is Charlie and Cassy. I don't know what will happen to me if they weren't there for me. and at last of my list, which I probably won't care, was my mother. Even after all these years, she had not even make an attempt to care for me or contact me in any ways. I was told that after she divorce with Charlie she passed the custody of me to my father. I heard from some of my neighbours that she had been living in Jacksonville happily with her husband, Phil, the man that my dad trusted so much, who would have thought things would end up like this in the end. The nightmares that I had ever since my mom left was still haunting me. Its was always the two dreams that keeps appearing to and fro. Though, I must say, it doesn't scare me that much as when I first had it, but the dreams still remains a mystery to me.

The good news was, Cassy and I had both received a scholarship from forks high, its a school that is located at a small town, called forks with a population of not more then four thousand. We will be preparing to leave for the next few months before the new school terms starts to get used to the environment. At least we get to promote one year earlier than others. Charlie seems to be pleased with the news an even encourage me to go ahead even though he knew that I would be leaving him. Thats when I heard it and realized why he was pleased with it. _Forks high... seems nostalgic I guess... its where I first met her... and everything started from there... _well at least now I know that he used to be studying in forks high. Though I didn't knew that thats the start of his love between my mother. Anyway you know what they always say, high school is a new start of everything including _romance_ I guess. But I was never on the top of any of my male classmates list, but Cassy seems to have more admirer gawking at her then she ever thought. However its a shame that, she seems oblivious and dense to this kind of things.

"Bella? Are you ready to go?" I heard Cassy's voice outside of my door, we were suppose to get prepared by buying the stuff we needed before we move to Charlie's previous house that was located in forks before he move to phoenix. I was surprised when I heard about that though, why he never sold that home off if he plan on moving to phoenix, is a mystery to me.

"I'm coming" I said as I open the door and locked it. I turn around to face her and saw that she was wearing a black t-shirt with a cartoon of a couple holding hand in hand, and black shorts with black slippers. Well at least it suits her even though everything she wear were black. A question suddenly lingered in my mind, if she like romance why does she seems dense to it in real life?

Sighing,we make our way to the shopping center and brought everything we need, including jacket, sweater, umbrella, andraincoat just to be on the safe side. Forks is known to be a place under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains on this inconsequential town more than any other place in the United States of America.

We left the shopping center and decided to make our way home when suddenly, my phone started to rang. I pick up the phone and heard billy's voice at the opposite side of the phone.

"Bella? Please calm down and listen to me, Charlie has met with a car accident on his way home, his currently in the emergency room... and the doctor say that he might not make it" I drop the phone, shocked, tears started to welled up in my eyes. I could see Cassy worried expression, as she bend down to pick the phone I drop.

"hello? Bella are you there?"

"billy? I'm Cassy did something happen?" Cassy answered the phone with a question, I look at her face to see her expression from calm to worry and finally panic. As she hang up the phone, she quickly pull my hand as we make our way to the hospital, knowing that I will be too shocked to move by myself.

We arrived at the hospital, ten minutes after the phone call. Outside the emergency room we saw billy sitting on one of the seat available. From his thoughts I could sense that all this would not turn out to be something great.

With all the panicking thought washing over me, I started to tremble. His thoughts were filled with 'what if...'

I know what he meant, what if Charlie died? Who would take care of me? Although I would be an adult in a few years time, until then someone needed to take care of me. Would I be send to an orphanage? Lots of questions, doubt and fear filled my mind. I was pull back into reality when Cassy touch my hand to relief me from my fear and to stop me from trembling.

I rubbed away the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes, somewhere deep down my heart I was glad that Cassy was with me. Without her, I could only sense myself falling into the depth of darkness and loneliness. I must be strong and not let her to be worried about me.

So I blocked billy's thought that is filled with nothing but negative thoughts. I could hear a hall of people talking once again except billy. Blocking every thoughts except the thoughts of the doctor and nurse to check on the condition of my father.

What surprise me most was Charlie's voice that is in my mind, though its faint I could hear it if I strain myself. Such whisper as if his consciousness is slowly slipping away, the voice was filled with question about what would happen to me if he give up in his battle of life and death. If I could I would have told him not worry about me but concentrate on the battle to live, tears filled my eyes once again, I had a feeling that those thoughts would be his last word to me.

_Bella... Charlie's_ last word sounded like a bell that rings in my head, before a loud _beeeeeeeeeeeep... _sounded in the doctors and nurses mind. The doctor walk out of the room, and I could feel the tears that had already flown down from my chocolate orbs. Cassy already knew what to expect as she knew that I had already read the doctor's mind. She look down at the ground unable to face the fact that her closest friend father had died and unable to face the sadness that remain on my face. From her voice in my head I could hear that she wanted badly for me to cheer up, but she had no idea what to say to me.

I smile sadly at her wanting to ease her sadness even if its just a little. She smile back at me warmly, knowing that it could at least cheer me up. The doctor told us the usual line you see in every dramatic scene that took place in the hospital.

"sorry, we done our best" was what they would always said on the television, surprisingly my situation was the same as the usual drama scene, cause soon after the news was release from the doctor's mouth we all broke down to more tears. Billy and Cassy hug me so tightly as if I would fall apart like a glass doll without them keeping me in place.

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After Charlie's funeral, billy told me that he would go to Charlie's office to retrieve his belongings. I told him I would be there too after Cassy went home.

I stood outside a wooden frame door, which leads to my dad's office. Slowly, I turn the knot of the door and push it, making a soft creaking sound. I saw billy in his wheelchair clearing up my dad's things that is left on the table. He seems too absorb in his action to even feel my presence. Everything seems like a deja vu when he pick up a photo and is staring at it. It reminded me of the dream that I had, that I'm too familiar with. Only that now its replaying in reality and it wont have to fade away because I have to wake up from my dream.

I walk towards billy, and place my hand on his shoulder to make aware of my presence. He turn his head to look at me, and I could see that in his eyes that he still have not gotten over his best friend's death, not that I have gotten over it myself. I took a peek at the photo to find myself staring at my mom with my dad by the side holding the fragile little me in their arms.

"what will happen to you now Bella?" billy asked me without tearing his eyes from the picture. _If she is willing I could adopt her, she would be a great sister for Jacob... _sure Jacob and I have been good friends and I'm felt like I'm a sister to him too, but would I really wanna burden billy? I know that he probably won't mind, but I feel like a jinx, my dreams are all up to no good... I'm don't want to experience losing someone close to me again...

"i seriously have no idea...." I said knowing that this answer would not satisfy billy_, _after all he _is _willing to adopt me... _I guess its now or never... _I heard his voice, sighing I knew that the decisive conversation would come in just a few more seconds..

"Bella...? if you are fine putting up with me and Jacob and his sisters... I don't mind having another addition to our family... and I know the rest of them would be happy with it too... I know this is sudden but please consider taking up my offer ok? You know that I'm always concern of you and I have always treat you like my own daughter"

"billy I'm glad you think of me that way... it's just that I'm already not a child anymore and I can take care of myself now... if I really need a guardian... I guess I could look for mom in Jacksonville..." _as if I would really do it... _I thought to myself knowing that this would not sound convincing to billy at all, after all he is a really perceptive person. I heard him sighing already realizing that I do not really mean my words.

"alright Bella, if you think it that way... but if you really doesn't want to look for your mom I will always be there for you...and here..." he said as he place the photo into the box and give it to me.

"thanks" I said as I pick up my dad's belongings, making my way out as I bid billy farewell. Tears starts to welled up in my eyes as I took a last glance of billy's back, knowing how truly lonely I felt. Trying badly not to succumb to sadness anymore. I took one deep breathe and rub away the tears before making my way home.

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sayo: so what do you think? i long i'm pretty long-winded making the story maybe a little longer but i think that all this are necessary in this story, so do review and give me ur opinion ok? happy CNY too all the people out there...**


	5. a messed up day

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sayo: thx **orange cotton candy **and** TopazTearz **for your review :) i had so much fun writing this chapter, but readers out there, tell me what you think about it by reviewing it since you might not agree with what i think :x

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**As I approach closer to my house that used to be much warmer, instead of the coldness and loneliness ever since Charlie passed away. I saw a man in black suit with a leather briefcase, he had light blond hair that was comb smartly on his head. He look deep in thought as he stood outside my house. I walk towards him wondering what he wants, although I did tried to take a peek into his mind, its filled with constant thinking and pondering. It makes it hard to combined the little bits into one big complete puzzle, his constant thinking and pondering only leads into many little bits of smaller piece of different puzzles.

"Excuse me, do you need something?" I ask him as I took the key to the door out of my pocket.

"You must be Bella right? I'm your dad's lawyer, I'm here to deliver his will and letter" the man said as he point towards his briefcase.

"O... do you want to come in? We can speak inside, instead of staying out here.. Erm.. Mr..." I suggested as I unlock the door, realizing that the man had not introduce himself.

"Call me Leon will do, and sure thanks for the offer" Leon said as he followed me into the living room, where the coffee table and sofa is located.

Leon sat down on one of the sofa and place his briefcase on the table, then he start flipping through a few documents. Finally he took out a yellow envelope, within the documents and start opening it, pulling out a few papers and an unopened letter. After examining it, he start to read out the will, I could feel butterflies in my stomach... I have never been in this kind of situation before and I really do not know how to react.

"Your dad has pass sixty percent of his inheritance to you and the rest of his inheritance would go to the charity, and as for the property, cars, insurance they will be all transferred to you" Leon said professionally, I could feel myself stiff and my mouth were in the shape of an 'o' with no words coming out. And as Leon continued I quickly recover myself from the shock I think I was having...

"Heres your dad's letter that is written for you, you can keep that and read it whenever you felt like it, anyway I'm done with my job here, if you have anything that you are uncertain of, please do not hesitate to call me" Leon said as he pack the documents back into his briefcase, handling me his contact card.

"Sure and thanks for coming over..." I said clutching the letter tightly in to my chest, wanting badly to read but not when his here.

I shut the door as Leon left. Running quickly to my bedroom, hoping to read the letter as soon as possible, but only ends up tripping over my own foot. An additional injuries I thought. As clumsy as I may be, I took no time to take care of the new injuries on my leg, only one thought filled my mind... and that is reading the letter. I shut my door jump into my bed as I slowly open up the letter. I could recognize right away that familiar style of handwritings that belong to my beloved father. I started reading out loud...

_To my dearest Bella,_

_if you are reading this letter, it means that I'm making my way towards the heaven.. at least thats what I hope. I really do not wish to leave you alone, please move on with your life and do not let my death overwhelm you, that is the least I hope you could do._

_I know ever since your mother left, you had been afraid of loneliness, on that first night... I'm sure you know what I mean, after you fell asleep... I took a peek into your room, to make sure you were alright. But unknown to yourself... you have a habit of sleep talking... at that first night... you keep calling your mom and my name asking us not to leave you alone. There would always be some tears that flow down from your eyes in your sleep... it really pains me a lot to see you experiencing such pains at such a young age. I thought maybe after a few years you would overcome the fact that your mom left, and you did. I was glad... But still deep down you do not want to be left alone, you yearn for someone that is close to you and I'm really glad that Cassy is always with you, she is really a good girl, cherish her properly will you? But that still can't clear the cloud of darkness in your heart can it? You have been having nightmares for nights as far as I'm concern.._

_the only thing I can't put down is the fact that no one would take care of you when I'm gone. I guess you would be thinking that you could take care of yourself once you read this sentence but, what I mean was for you to find the right partner in your life. I know how independent you are, cancel off the fact that your clumsy. Do not let Renee and my divorce implant the fear of marriage to you. It just didn't work well in my case thats all. But Bella I'm sure that one day you will find the right mate which you could feel safe with and feel that both of you could overcome anything with as long as your together. I would really wish that I could see that day come with my own eyes... to see how my beautiful daughter had grown to be a fine women... but that day would never come for me... however that does not mean I would stop caring you after death._

_I would always be watching you from either above or below... be happy Bella..._

_love,_

_Charlie_

dad... I could feel the hot tears that had flown down from my eyes. I really miss him... it seems as though yesterday that I've been preparing dinner for him, watching him watch his favorite baseball channel. "Dad" I cried, clutching the letter so tightly to my heart, it seems like it would tear any minute. Memory of my dad keep replaying in my head when I thought that he would not be here anymore... he told me to move on with my life... how could I move on if he weren't there to watch my growing process? I was taken back slightly when I heard the ring of the bell. I rubbed the tears that remain on my pale cheeks, and went to open the door.

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I was shock to see the person that appear in front of me. The women for the sake of her own happiness, destroy our life. What makes me feel disgusted and hatred was her thoughts. How could she? If I could I would slammed the door right at her face. She hugged me tightly and took a good look at me.

"Bella, my Bella you have grown into such a fine lady" Renee said. I push her away from me, couldn't stand her presence any longer.

"What do you want?" I said in the coldest voice in could master.

"Is it a crime for a mother to visit her daughter?" Renee looked shockingly at me.

"No, but are you my mother? You abandoned me and dad, so what are you here for? The inheritance?" I spite, knowing that I've struck right into the reason behind her actions.

"Bella, how could you make such an accused! I'm your mom do I need a reason to take care of you? And the inheritance? How absurd could you get! " she shouted, I could feel the stares we are getting from the neighbours and the passerby behind her back. But choose to take no action towards them.

"Absurd? You think I'm being ridiculous? Who is it that needed money to pay off the bills that Phil owns? Who is it that needed to pay for his injuries fee? You do not even have the slightest intention to truly care for me, all you wanted was money! MONEY! MONEY!" I argue. I'm feel so angry that I don't think doing anything can calm me down, _me _being absurd? What does she think I am? A money tree?

"How do you know that? No one was suppose to know about his injuries! We kept it a secret from everybody including his manager! If they know that his injured it would be the end of his major league career" Renee tone down her voice, she seems too shock, no one was suppose to know? I wanted to curse myself and this stupid ability at the moment, I wasn't thinking rationally. I slapped myself mentally, I took a step forward _I guess I could try explain this_ I thought.

However when I took a step forward, Renee took a step backward, it was as if she was afraid of me... as if I was a monster... so I'm a freak to be exact.

"Renee?" I called out to her innocently, trying to contain my laughter, so what if she treats me like a freak? I'm fine with that, if I'm a freak what makes her up then? A freak's mother?

"yo..ur... a.. freak!!" renee scream as she ran off. I glare at everyone who was still looking at me and shut the door behind me. I was laughing and crying and the same time. Laughing because of her expression, crying because how could someone like her exist? Dad love her so much yet she didn't even come to his funeral or ask about him ever since she arrived.

I heard another bell. Again. I sigh as I get myself up to reach for the door, already realizing that it was not her who came back. I wave of relief wash over me.

"Hi Bella, I heard that your mom drop by, are you alright?" Cassy asked, concern about whether I would be adopted and staying with my mother and abandon the thoughts of going to forks high. _Well how wrong was she? theres no way I am going to give up my future for her sake _I laugh bitterly at my own thoughts.

"Cassy I'm fine and don't worry I don't plan to call off the plan, when I'm full prepared" I said as I smile at her. _Dad if you are watching me... I will try to move on with my life... if Cassy is with me I'm sure everything will turn out fine... continue watching over me k?_ I pray...

Cassy went home when she found out that everything was fine with me, strike off the fact that I was injured, again, and had not taken proper treatment. Honestly, sometimes I swear she's such a worrywart. Not that I mind. All she wanted was to care for me and make sure I don't break like a glass doll, and I'm happy for that. Today was such a messy day for me, with so many things happening... I can't help but slowly drifting into sleep...

_it was all the darkness...again. Why am I always surrounded by darkness? "Cassy?" I said, to no one in particular. Usually I would be chasing her... "Cassy?" I said once again. Wait... I could see it... one... no two perhaps? Who are they? Four... seven!? I can't see their face? All I could feel was that if I don't grab for either one of them... I would fall into eternal darkness... loneliness... "wait who are you? Stop please stop" I cried, running and chasing. Why have I been doing this throughtout the years?... always chasing after the backs of people... knowing that they would get hurt in the end when they get close to me... why? I stop running... this was the first time I break the trend of the dream...i don't want to know who they are... if they get close to me... it will be they who get hurts in the end... I'm a jinx... I could feel myself falling... this time truly falling... the backs of the seven person vanished the instant I gave up to hope... hope... what can I hope for in this world?... dad...please tell me..._

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sayo: and finally you know whose coming up :D it will be tough for me to get the gist of each character in the cullen family in the further chapter :x so sorry if certain character act or speak weirdly or out of character. i will try my best in writing it so do give ur opinion about my stories or where i can improve. i wont bite ;D**


	6. a normal dream?

**sayo: thanks to **TopazTearz **and **AliceCullen112 **for your kind review :) and those who read this fic, thanks so much... and sorry for quite another long chapter, the dream part was actually an inspiration from my dream. The scene was really beautiful! if only i could give a more detailed description... then you guys could have a better image when you imagine :x i guess i better brushed up my language more ._. sorry for the confusion i give you in this chapter...  
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**message to AliceCullen112: _bella will be 15 going to 16 when she go to forks high, so when her birthday then will she really be 16 years old.. does this help to clear your confusion?_

message to TopazTearZ: _you maybe right about that, but wars between vampire... i'll see what i can do :) lots of fanfics i read consist of that too, so maybe i'll add in or maybe not after all lol...

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_The sunlight shone through the window waking me up from my slumber, I felt wetness on my cheek, and took a look at the mirror, I could see how horrible I looked with a tear stained face and a messed up hair.

I make my way to the washroom for a nice warm bath, yesterday was filled with ups and downs, and tomorrow... Cassy and I could finally move to Charlie's home in forks. I smile at the thought of it, wondering what kind of house it was as I change my clothes. Remembering yesterday dream, who ever that seven people was... its better I don't meet them, it will do them more harm then good if I'm with them. I pray deep in my heart hoping that we would not cross path, even if I were to spend my whole life in solitude –the path I fear most. _Dad please bless them..._

I called Cassy's number wondering if she was done packing. What I got in return, was that she had not been answering her phone. I make my way to her house which was a five minutes walk away from mine. I rang the bell of her house, waiting for cassy's mother, Cathy to open the door. Cathy was a women with long black silky hair just like Cassy, you could say that thats where she gotten her hair. Cathy was rape when she was eighteen, thats how she gotten Cassy, at least thats what I heard from her. I felt sorry for her when I heard her story and even guilty for asking Cassy why she has no father when I was young. That was before mom and dad split and before I had the power to read people's mind. I could say that Cathy is a really strong and brave lady as she singlehandedly raise Cassy up, pouring every ounce of love to her instead of hating her, since her parents abandoned her after they found out she was rape.

I stood outside Cassy's house wondering if they were out, but that was impossible as I heard Cathy's mind. It was a disaster, Cathy mind's keep replaying Cassy's growing process, when she was born, her first step... I blocked her mind out. I needed to know what really happen, why is she thinking this way? I wanted to break down the door if I could, but I realize that the door wasn't even locked.

I walk into the kitchen and saw Cathy kneeling down on her knees, holding a photo closed to her heart. As tears stream down her empty black eyes. I started to close in to her trying to find out what happen, I just can't read her mind, its just like a spoiled video clip, replaying the same scene. Her dark empty eyes start into mine, I could see anger and sadness reflected in it. "GO AWAY" Cathy shouted at me. I stood rooted to the ground, processing everything pushing my fear to the back of my mind. Everything clicked, its like a deja vu from that dream... Why? Did something happen to Cassy? I can't stand the thoughts... why? I started to tremble, tears flown down my eyes clueless to what had happen to Cassy.

"Cathy, please tell me what happen to her" I cried. Cathy look up into my eyes and pull me into a hug, she had give in to the sadness as she cried and I could feel the wetness of her tears, sipping through my shirt, touching my skin. She seems too fragile at the moment just like me when Charlie died. I brush her hair gently hoping that it would comfort her, just like a mother who would do to her child. She was taken back by my action and started to speak as she separating herself from me, unable to faced me.

"Cassy is gone! Shes gone!" Cathy started screaming, more tears flow down her eyes. Cathy pick a letter that was left on the table and passed it to me. I open up the letter hoping to find a clue as to where she was.

_To my dearest friend Bella,_

_if you are reading this letter, I'm gone...I'm really sorry for not being able to accompany you to forks high. I really hope we could... but its no use. Bella please do not attempt to find me, cause you never will, not in this world, not in this time... maybe in next life. You know what I mean, I know Charlie's death has already had a great impact on you. Adding mine would be throwing a glass doll onto the floor, to not shatter it, is impossible. It would hurt you just as much it will hurt me. _

_You know how I am, after all we have been together ever since we were babies. My death is never something you cause. Always remember this, do not think you are a freak or jinx, you never was and never will be. I know all this from your sleep talking , Charlie told me about it. But now is the time I can go, I can feel it, its the right time. I have my reason for doing this._

_So please listen to me Bella, I would always be with you watching you just like Charlie is, so do not grief over my death, please just move on with your life. I love you very much, being with you has been the happiest time of my life, best friends forever. Be happy. _

_Love,_

_Cassy_

"Why...?" I spoke looking at Cathy.

"Why would she do this? Do you know anything about this? Please tell me Cathy" I pleaded, I know she could sense the desperation tone in my voice. She soften her look and rubbed the tears from my eyes.

"I'm sorry Bella, I really don't know... I receive a letter from her too... she said it was the right time... I have no idea what she was talking about..." Cathy choked. I can't face her knowing that she was suffering in the same pain as I did, maybe even more than me. Cassy was her closest kin next to anything... and I thought that was why she could give up everything for her. I placed my hand on her shoulder comforting her that everything was alright and planning to leave at the same time she look up and me and nodded. I make my way out of Cassy's home, taking a last glance

"Goodbye Cassy" I said and make my way home.

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I packed everything I needed, holding my passport and plane ticket in my hand. I headed for the airport. I gave Billy a call telling him that I'll be moving to forks for my new school terms, just in case he was worried.

Boarding the plane I look down at phoenix, the place filled with too much good and bad memories. I don't know if next time, I come back, would I be reminded by the sad times or the happy times. In the end I was alone, both Charlie and Cassy wanted me to be happy... thats the least I could do for them... I thought as I drifted into a slumber.

_Darkness. Again. What more should I fear when everything I feared had happen? Please make this just a dream of darkness I pleaded to myself, knowing fully well that I can't control my dreams. I had to, I mustn't dragged them in, those seven innocent people. Once we crossed path they are doom... I look around thankfully that everything was just darkness, suddenly there was a streak of light. Why? Never in my life where I dream of light piercing through the darkness. But that doesn't make sense does it? _

_Suddenly there it was again, the light has vanished, I'm at a place... its a grassland I could see the forest faraway the sky, its the night sky, I could see lots of stars shining and a pink horizon piercing through the night sky, its too beautiful the word 'beautiful' seems not enough to describe the scene that was revealed in front of me. I had never seen such a phenomenon in my life not even in geology channel, how can such a scenery be true? Does it even exist? This would be the first normal dream I'm having, I thought there would never be a day where such a dream would even exist, living in ten years filled with haunting dream. This dream makes me feel safe._

"_Hello?" I turn around shocked, this was my dream how could anyone be in it beside me and people I knew... I can't see his face and the dream was slowly fading away..._

"_Hi?" I replied, the scenery was still there but the person was unclear to me I can't see him so where was he?_

"_Beautiful isn't it" the voice asked but it sounded like a statement more than a questions to me._

"_yes its really beautiful, can you see me? I can't see you" I asked, this is strange... how am able to talk to someone I never met before? And this person has a deep velvet voice that sounded just like an angel, and a male one, if you were to asked me._

"_neither can I... all I could see is a blur figure, assuming that is was you" he said, I could see it too he was just ten steps away from me._

"_this is my first time having a normal dream" I said randomly and embarrassed. I heard a laugh, I could feel that heat was creeping to my cheeks if I weren't in a dream, and I was partly glad that he can't see me, cause this would be a pretty awkward situation if he did._

"_Well this is the first time I'm dreaming" he said. I laugh, 'was he really being serious?' I thought 'ha.. as if that could be true'_

"_I'm fading I could feel it, my times runs out now... see you soon.. maybe" he said. _

At the same time I snapped my eyes open, I look around realizing that I've arrived at Port Angeles.

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I took my luggage, and headed towards the taxi stand. I board onto one of the taxis and told the driver where Charlie's house is located. _Another one hour of driving_ the driver thought. I sigh, one hour...

I stood outside of the two-bedroom house, slotting in the key, the door open with a click. The house was well furnish, the floor was made of wood, the wall of the house was painted light blue and there were yellowed lace curtain around the window. The furnitures were all covered with a cloth, to prevent dust for accumulating on them. I unpacked my stuff in the bedroom that is located at the second floor. There was a single bed, study desk, wardrobe and bookshelf. Just perfect. After finish unpacking I begin cleaning the house removing the cloth off the furnitures, sweeping and mopping. _Cassy if only you were here..._ I thought sadly. I can't cry, I must remain happy for her sake and Charlie's sake . I shook my head clearing my thoughts, concentrating back on the chores.

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Edward P.O.V

I'm just back from hunting, I sat down on my black coach, playing one of my favorite classical songs. School will start in one weeks time. and I'm in junior year. Again. I sigh, Alice had drag Rosalie and Esme along with her for shopping. Carlisle was at the hospital, and Emmett and jasper went for a hunting competition. It all started when jasper beat Emmett in one of his favorite video games, and Emmett taunted jasper into taking part of this competition. I sigh again, here I am alone in the Cullen house.

I tried to think of anything that could kill the boredom, every minute was like an hour to me when I'm alone. I was spacing out when I could feel something, it was like I was in a trance... this place... where am I? I look up to see the night sky, what I didn't expect was that such a view even existed, the stars was glittering dancing around the pink horizon that cuts the darkness, its so beautiful, this view was even more beautiful than my kind. Comparing it with my kind seems to be an insult for this magnificent view. What am I? I'm just a monster, that seek blood. This view could calm a monster like me, I found peace in this place. The serene feeling it gives off... but I was definitely _not _alone. I could see a blur figure ten steps away from me.

"Hello?" I said, trying to be sure what the blur figure was.

"Hi?" I heard a voice said, her voice sounds like an angel, I giggled softly to myself. _An angel.. that would sound just like my kind but it can't be possible right? We can't sleep _I thought

"Beautiful isn't it" I said, not implying it as a question but statement. It seems like she understood the meaning behind my words.

"Yes its really beautiful, can you see me? I can't see you" I heard her voice asking me.

"Neither can I... all I could see is a blur figure, assuming that it was you" I replied, there was a silence for awhile when she suddenly spoke on random subject.

"this is my first time having a normal dream" I heard her saying, I tried to contain my laughter but I slipped somehow, it makes me wonder what kind of life she was leading until now.

"well this is the first time I'm dreaming" I said, she laugh, her laughter sounded like a bell, if I don't know I would really mistaken her for our kind. _On second thought it wouldn't be surprising that she laugh, who would really not dream, and this being the first dream? No doubt it sounded ridiculous _I thought. I could hear reality falling into place, the music of the song I was playing..

"I'm fading I could feel it, my times runs out now... see you soon.. maybe" I told her and as soon as I finished my sentence, I could see Alice, jasper, Emmett, Esme and Rosalie right in front of me.

"what are you guys doing in my room?" I asked

_Edward we had been calling you for the pass four hours_ Esme speak in her thoughts.

_I swear you were as still as a statue brother or even stiller than a statue if that was possible _Emmett thoughts.

_My dearest brother had just had a dream!!! Edward you just have to tell me please please ple- _I blocked Alice thoughts theres no way I'm going to let her know what I've dream. Its not a big deal that vampire dream is it? Emmett falls into the trance all the time when Rosalie is not with him. Just thinking about it in details filled me with disgust. Although jasper sometimes too fall into such a trance but its never as tainted as Emmett's.

_Edward you just broke the longest trance record among the vampire race. Four hours... four hours..._jasper thought flashing a smirk at me.

I sigh, wondering how long this teasing is gonna last this time.

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sayo: so what do you think of edward's P.O.V? and is the other cullens out of character :x? if they are review me so i know which part they sound weird, your review will certainly help to improve the story without a doubt. so review! i wont bite ;D

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